Getting out 

Bill and I had only just gotten back together for a few months when I fell pregnant with the twins. I look back on that year as the worst year of my life. So depressing.

Still working things out our relationship was 1   step forward and 2 steps back and when I’m pregnant I can’t rationalise, I’m not even a very good rationaliser when I’m not. I cried every day, we lost our connection and I lost my shit.  

I was so depressed, I even sent my bestie a message that contained the words 

“wish I was dead” it was meant to be a bit jokey but besties know best. She was worried. 
One day I had my mum look after the kids so that I could stay in bed and cry/stare at the wall/cry again/eat/cry, I decided to lug my sorry arse to the doctor and get a referral to a psych. 
Best thing I ever did. 

Juliana #anotherqueen, my new psych became my god. 
She told me, that I was quite deeply co-dependant, or something like that, I wasn’t really listening, I was too busy thinking to myself 
“I love this women so much, I hope she never retires, what will I do if she retires? I’ll find her at her home, where does she live?”

#codepentanciesabitch 
She taught me to stop dwelling on what was wrong, stop thinking about the future. Make today’s happiness and calmness my priority. The future can wait until then.
1 thing that stood out for me during my time with my gorgeous queen psych that I want to share with any of my queens who are feeling lonely or miserable or like the funny, sexy guy they fell for is now an arrogant, mean wank stain. 
Socialise, away from your home. 
Even when you really don’t feel like it. 

Make yourself get out of the house and force one of your friends, (I say friends not family because of all the pressures and responsibilities families come with) call a queen to have a coffee, or a picnic, or a walk on the beach with you, or come to the park with you while you drink a bottle of vodka and flash your tits to on coming traffic, whatevs. Even if you really can not be fucked. Do it.

It sounds so simple, but it literally saved my life. 
Socialising online is not enough, face to face is therapeutic, it calms your soul, it gives you energy, it gets you out of the four walls. 

Something really magic happens when 2 or more queens get together, through support and laughter.

Aim for once a day, make it your priority, before everything else, you will have nothing left to give if you don’t prioritise your mental state. 
Call a queen. If you don’t have a queen to call, write in the comment section your suburb and see if there’s a queen who can come and grab a coffee with you. Let’s tell loneliness to chomp on a big fat dick, together.  
I’m in Fremantle WA if you need a queen💪🏼👑👊🏼

#queensofconstance  #likeaqueen 

 

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19 thoughts on “Getting out ”

    1. Mustang, OKLAHOMA here! Been there, done all of the mothering of my children, “and my husband”!! Lol It is really hard having a family and keeping a house, raising your kids, 24/7, no pay, but there are rewards….I see them everyday in the eyes of my grandkids! But, for sure, women need to think about their selves before anything! Do take time out for YOU, BECAUSE IF YOU AREN’T THERE, WHO IS?? You need to enjoy life now, don’t wait till the kids are grown!! And that husband, who wants to spend more time with the kids CAN STAY HOME AND WATCH THEM WHILE YOU GO, GO, GO OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
      I do need to say that I am so blessed to have a husband who actually takes very good care of me! I love you Albert Power!
      #beautifulwomen

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  1. Thank you for normalizing the struggles that most women face but are afraid to talk about. So many of us think we’re freaking psychos when we’re really just average moms and wives. 💓

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  2. I feel so guilty when I even think about going out. I’m a single mother of 3 and I feel like after work and school I should spend every waking moment w my kids. But I feel like I’m going a bit insane. I feel my self feeling animosity towards my friends when they go out. I just need a break, maybe a couple days. Does that make me a bad person?

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  3. A group of friends started a woman’s group. Guaranteed deep connections, at least once a month. We take turns leading, and when other parts of my life are in chaos, it’s a stable joy!

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  4. Please write more! Your writing is keeping me sane. I need sane (cause Im a single mom on anti depressants. Hahaha!)!
    Where i live it’s 4.20 AM and I have not slept. At all. Tomorrow was going to be awful, I had decided. But now 😉 -nooow i’m going to allow myself to be tired, maybe a bit crazy, to not give a fuck (except about my baby’s eating, sleeping and so on) and be social. Even though i don’t want to. And it’s all going to be fine 🙂 Cause i’ve red your blog.
    Thanks 🙂

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  5. Though not officially a Queen (last time i checked anyway), as a single dad who suffers from depression and a serious case of the ‘shut-in’s’ at times, i am taking your advice to heart. Kings or Queens, we need to touch the face of something real as often as we can. Thank you.

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  6. QueenConstance, I’ve only just stumbled across you (thanks daily mail!!!) and was wondering whether you would you please pretty please with a royal alcohol dipped cherry on top be my virtual queen?! I’d love some frank two minute advice and I’d really love to get QueenJuliana’s number (and address for when she retires lol). Happy to pay you both for your time and wisdom! Hugs for your frank advice. How refreshing.

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  7. Thank you for your honesty. Have a 4yo and triplet 5mo (all of them girls…God save me when I have 4 teens at once) and at times…all the time… I am losing my mind. Your post make me smile and let me know that I am not alone in this thing called motherhood.

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  8. You look like my little sister I miss her and wish she was here to eat tofu with then make fun of each others stinky breath. I work so GD much Ive been acting out stupid at work joking because im slipping upstairs. They all give you the 5 mile stare. I get lonely too my anxieties a bitch ppl all gotta be mean and shit when you be nice to them try to joke or get coffee Im a mother of 3 and it seems like the school owns them. Depressed momma everything i did for so long was to busy myself w them. Now what? work? I was on antidepressants when they were little I might need them again….7am school until 4pm man you think they keep them longer or what…what happened to mother bonding time??

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